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MissyInTX

Member

GG mentor

I would like to find a born female of whom I can ask questions about being a woman (not necessarily sexual though that would be a plus.) Any advice on finding one?

PrincessKristen

Member

Re: GG mentor

I would like to find a born female of whom I can ask questions about being a woman (not necessarily sexual though that would be a plus.)

Maybe I'm not understanding clearly enough what it is that you're looking for. But I think the difficulty here is the broadness of experiences that encompasses "being a woman."  The whole "no two people experience the same thing the exact same way" thing.

So I'm guess that if you narrowed the scope your questions, you might be able to find someone who could give you some feedback.

UKTechie46F

Member

Re: GG mentor

I would like to find a born female of whom I can ask questions about being a woman (not necessarily sexual though that would be a plus.)

Maybe I'm not understanding clearly enough what it is that you're looking for. But I think the difficulty here is the broadness of experiences that encompasses "being a woman."  The whole "no two people experience the same thing the exact same way" thing.

So I'm guess that if you narrowed the scope your questions, you might be able to find someone who could give you some feedback.

Yup. I was thinking the same thing.

If the OP found a cis woman who was friendly and positively disposed towards trans people, I can't see the cis woman in question giving any "lessons on womanhood".

I think she would be more inclined to point you in the direction of another trans woman?

But maybe I am wrong and the OP should ask some cis women to do that?

PrincessKristen

Member

Re: GG mentor

If the OP found a cis woman who was friendly and positively disposed towards trans people, I can't see the cis woman in question giving any "lessons on womanhood".

I think she would be more inclined to point you in the direction of another trans woman?

But maybe I am wrong and the OP should ask some cis women to do that?

Agreed. I mean, it isn't too difficult to find people who aren't prejudiced against trans people, but I can't imagine many of them are going to be able to provide much useful or insightful information in this case.

On the other hand, maybe there's someone out there who would answer a question or two, if those questions were more narrowly focused. For example, "What is it like being a woman in your profession?" or something similar.

Edit: clarity

Last edited by PrincessKristen (Oct 14, 2020 12:13:AM)

UKTechie46F

Member

Re: GG mentor

Agreed. I mean, it isn't too difficult to find people who aren't prejudiced against trans people, but I can't imagine many of them are going to be able to provide much useful or insightful information in this case.

On the other hand, maybe there's someone out there who would answer a question or two, if those questions were more narrowly focused. For example, "What is it like being a woman in your profession?" or something similar.

Yup. Or really specific tips. Like make up or clothes.

But I think this shows a cultural difference between cis women, trans women who are FT and those who would like to be full time trans women.

For a cis woman, being a woman is the most boring thing in the world. Its just what they are. Like breathing. Unless they have a political axe to grind about being female (different topic...).

For a FT trans woman, I've noticed that many CDs think of trans women as the Navy Seals of cross dressing. That's not even remotely true

For me, I couldn't care less about corsets (never owned one), super high heels, seamed stockings or any of that stuff.

I can be a bit frumpy. I like to blend in, not stand out. Being "more feminine" is only an issue if I'm not passing!

PrincessKristen

Member

Re: GG mentor

Agreed. I mean, it isn't too difficult to find people who aren't prejudiced against trans people, but I can't imagine many of them are going to be able to provide much useful or insightful information in this case.

On the other hand, maybe there's someone out there who would answer a question or two, if those questions were more narrowly focused. For example, "What is it like being a woman in your profession?" or something similar.

Yup. Or really specific tips. Like make up or clothes.

But I think this shows a cultural difference between cis women, trans women who are FT and those who would like to be full time trans women.

For a cis woman, being a woman is the most boring thing in the world. Its just what they are. Like breathing. Unless they have a political axe to grind about being female (different topic...).

For a FT trans woman, I've noticed that many CDs think of trans women as the Navy Seals of cross dressing. That's not even remotely true

For me, I couldn't care less about corsets (never owned one), super high heels, seamed stockings or any of that stuff.

I can be a bit frumpy. I like to blend in, not stand out. Being "more feminine" is only an issue if I'm not passing!

You know what? It looks like I didn't even interpret the question correctly. I thought she wanted to know what it's like to be a woman; I didn't think the question was asking for tips on improving her presentation!

But, yeah, I know what you mean when you say "many CDs think of trans women as the Navy Seals of cross dressing."

MissyInTX

Member

Re: GG mentor

Sorry for the time since the last response. I often forget these forums are here.

I would like to ask a woman about things I have experienced women doing and in the event she had a similar experience what she was thinking/feeling at the time.

As an example, I was once at a business happy hour and a person was talking about a car he had bought. He showed a picture of a late ‘60’s Corvette convertible. Another woman, early 50’s, successful professional who had a couple of drinks said “Oh my God, seeing that just made me wet.” Realizing what she just said and turning bright red said “I cannot believe I said that.” This was totally out of character for her and yet there is no question that was a completely natural reaction. No TG can tell me about that experience.

It’s the little things about being female I want to ask about for which I need a mentor.

Terra

Member

Re: GG mentor

This was totally out of character for her and yet there is no question that was a completely natural reaction. No TG can tell me about that experience.

It’s the little things about being female I want to ask about for which I need a mentor.

Idk if I agree. Lust is driven by testosterone; it's not a boy hormone, it's a hormone, men and women both have it, and testosterone levels are directly tied to the libido. Don't even get me started on progesterone. Women have a sex drive, just as men, and hormones are not all of that. The part of the brain that handles sex stuff is larger in men than women (hormones drive that development). Because of this, men tend to be more preoccupied with sex, but don't get it twisted. A woman can be every bit as sexual ad a man, in fact I would argue that they're more. The difference is, culturally, men are rewarded for being sexual and women are punished.

I have hormone levels consistent with cis women, and actually many of them have more testosterone than I. Yes, I don't have a history or experience with growing up as a cis woman. But I've been going through puberty again for the last 2 years. I say things like this, and find myself shocked. Cis women do this too, they ask other women about things they don't understand. Our understanding of man and woman are simply cultural; we made it all up. There's no right or wrong way to be a woman. Female sexuality is different from men do to philology and hormones and all that. But women get multiple orgasms. That took an adjustment for me. The entire process of arousal changed, and that was because my body has become biologically female. Erogenous zones play a part in this too, as women have more than men typically.

Cis or Trans, she's still a woman. I, a trans, have holes in my education from being socialized as a male. Hypothetical cis woman has that experience, but she may not have researched gender studies as relentlessly as I. All a cis woman is going to do is provide a perspective based on her perceptions. They're still not going to fully understand the trans experience. But both of us can have educations in psychology, anatomy, and gender studies; even a cis man could conceivably give you the answers.